Is Trust In a Relationship a Worthwhile Investment?

Dictionary.com defines trust as reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. A simple, straight forward definition right? Not so when asked in terms of affairs of the hearts. When the average individual is asked, the definition takes on a wanes and ebbs; taking a more personalized annotation. Quite of the question respond with multi-layered questions of what ifs, just supposes, or what abouts; peppered with prerequisites that make the question more complex that the above definition would suggest.

It is quite interesting that in the dating sphere, sometimes trust weakens as affections intensify. Shouldn’t your trust expand, the closer you and your mi amour get? You can cite case after case of friends, male & female alike that have gotten got. Of course, you can reflect within and count at least once if not multiple times when trusts was violated and surmise that people just can’t be trusted and put a wall up… trust is just too damn expensive. It can wreck havoc on your mind, body & spirit, not to mention finances or public reputation. Just suppose for a moment that in actuality you have decided not trust “yourself”. Your lesser judgment has led you astray one too many times, so rather than forgiving your heart (or other parts of yourself) you transpose the self blame to fault finding missions every chance you get. Could it be misdiagnosed inferiority complex?


Can the brokenhearted find the courage to reinvest trust within the confines of their own mind and spirits? Will reciprocity of love & trust yield the dividends you reluctantly desire? Can you allow the nakedness of self to answer back to you and trust in what it says? Or will you continue to play games in the dark with lost hearts; always reaching yet never holding? Only touching but never feeling; learning but never truly knowing. Intimacy with self, lead by faith will reveal truth… and it will be beautiful.

The Love We Had Stays On My Mind

The two principle characters, Keilah and Norelle, definitely have some ghosts of past loves creeping behind them. As with Keilah and Norelle, the former relationships we have witnessed or found ourselves in, shapes all relationships that follow them.

If you were like me, between Sesame Street and Romper Room I grew up watching The Young and The Restless with my babysitter. Back then, there were no VCRs and I had often finished my activity books by 12:30 when the soaps began. By 3pm when General Hospital came on, I was faking my nap and peeking at the television through the blanket. Now granted, the soaps were not as explicit as they are now, but they would still left impressions on me. When you factor in Cinderella and Snow White, I was heading for the big set up.

Whether it was two sisters via for the same man or men running to the rescue of damsels in distress, my tender little mind began to form ideas about love. Then when I got home, the image was slanted. My mom never cascaded across the room in a flowing gown with a silver platter of food in her hand. My dad didn’t come home, sweep my mother off her feet after he chugged a glass of cognac. Most often, once we arrived home from another busy day, my mom changed from work clothes to comfortable sweats and pulled some Murray’s steak out of the freezer for dinner while my dad had just enough time to fix a sandwich and head to his second job. In between the hustle and bustle, I saw plenty of hugs and kisses and few arguments. By time I was teenager, I was looking for the Luke & Laura love experience and didn’t even realize it until I was well into my twenties.

No matter if we came from a two parent home, a single parent home or none of the above, what we saw or didn’t see will run head on with the not so subtle images society at large has given us, leaving us in some cases with a warped idea of love.

For both Keilah and Norelle the relationships of their parents became lessons in do and don’ts that followed them well into their adulthood. Whether they got right or wrong could only be determined by the course of actions these two ladies took. Each is duplicitous in their approaches with Keilah as an idealistic pessimist while Norelle was a starry eyed realist, with all the rest of the cast falling in between.

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